Advent is Upon Us

I have returned from visiting family for Thanksgiving and am unpacked and settling back into the routine, except that it is not routine. The church calendar year ended on Sunday with Christ the King Sunday and this coming Sunday brings the first Sunday of Advent. I don't know what that means this week is - since we are not yet in Advent, but none the less, Advent has arrived in my house and in my heart. My decorations are up - except that I still need to get an Advent wreath - my Christmas tree is up and decorated in white and gold and the nativity set is displayed prominately.

It wasn't until a few years ago after reading Robert Webber's book Ancient Future Time and reading that "Advent is a time to live in the expectation that God will break through" that I began to understand that Advent is not just about the Christmas preparations but it the spiritual anticipation of the coming of Jesus. You have to remember that I grew up in the evangelical charismatic world and such things as the church calendar year, saying the Doxology and reciting the Lord's Prayer where considered things that "dead" churches do. Now I have come to a greater understanding of what it means to "dumpster dive for the faith traditions of the past" and what a great spiritual blessing it is to know that just as I am participating in the spiritual disciplines, so have generations of faithful Jesus followers, both in the past and in the future.

The modern church threw out all, or most, of the faith traditions in favor of contemporary music, "relevant" preaching and no "decorations" in the church. How I am enjoying my "traditional" church. The stained glass windows that tell the stories of the Bible, the congregational participation as we recite the Lord's Prayer, the Doxology, and the Gloria Patri together, and the hymns written by those long past - it all means a great deal to me. I can see the beauty in it.

As Advent is upon us may we remember and anticipate the coming of Jesus.

Blessing

As I have dealt with my own issues of calling and gifting I have frequently desired "the Blessing" of some people in my life who have been influenced and played a part in shaping who I am today. The blessing that I speak of is both formal and informal – it is an acknowledgment of who I am and who/what God is calling me to.

Liz Rios is someone that I meet at the National Pastor’s Conference in May of 2005, I have continued to read her blog and have been blessed by her writings. One writing in particular "In Search of the Blessing" has really impacted me.

She writes "in reality countless women don’t dare step into God’s call on their lives because they are still waiting for "the blessing." Often times, when the blessing does come, if ever, it is only for specific or restricted roles." For me this has been true, and I would really love to instead be in this place: "Although it may hurt to lack the blessing of man, we must desire so much more the blessing of God. God’s blessing comes through our obedience to what God has called us to do, and sometimes fulfilling that call comes without the blessing of those from whom we desire it. Nevertheless, step out into your calling, searching first God’s blessing, and looking forward to the fulfillment you’ll receive by ministering to those whom God shall have you bless."

I wonder how many women are like me? How many woman where taught both consciously and unconsciously that you should do what God is calling you to; unless you are a woman and that means a leadership role.

What would it look like for a generation of woman to feel encouraged and "blessed." How would that change the Church?

Women - Justice or Theology?

I have been hesitant to post or say anything in regards to Mark Driscoll's comments about "Fat, Lazy Pastor's Wives" because it is such a personal issue for me. I have also been hurt and offended by some of Mark's statements both recently and in the past.

Today I read Rose Madrid-Swetman's open letter to Mark. It was so gracious I felt the need to comment.

I have been thinking more lately about how the issue of justice relates to the woman question. What if the issue of women in ministry/leadership is not as much an issue of theology as it is an issue of justice? What would that mean for me and the many other woman who struggle with what God is calling us to. What would that mean to fully realize that "equal, yet different in role" is perhaps just as hurtful as the previously used phrase "separate but equal."

Sabbath

I am not as busy as I used to be. There was a time in my life where I had a color-coded schedule (I know I was a bit neurotic) and I remember that my free time was in blue. There was very little blue on my weekly schedule. I am not as busy now – I have more free time and I go and do less than I used to. For me I have been in need of a time of Sabbath for more than 10 years.

I think that for me Sabbath has several different meanings. It means my one-day about every other week where I lay in bed and read until noon and then do nothing more than relax and enjoy life with Bella (my dog.) It also means this season of life that I am in – I am taking a Sabbath. I am not nearly as busy. I am limiting some of my activities. I am struggling to not feel guilty and not feel that I am being lazy. I am resting and coming to a new and deeper understanding of what it means to rest and wait on God. I am taking a Sabbath and I need the feeling of rest and awareness of God that Sabbath brings to me.

Maybe Sabbath should be a way of life. I wonder what that would look like?

Leadership

As a young person - I was taught that there was basically one good style of leadership - the John Maxwell way - now I think John Maxwell has some good things to say - but I also know that there are many other ways to lead.

One of the ways that I lead is by asking questions and just allowing them to hang out there to be thought about and wrestled with. I have found that it is usually in someone's best interest to have to deal with the answers themselves as opposed to having the answers provided for them. It makes them dig deeper and deal with issues instead of placing questions on the back burner and saying that "O the pastor/leader does/knows that and it's not my job/I don't need to know that."

It would be my desire that we learn more about intuition as it relates to leadership. I think that we tend to equate intuition with women and their feelings and we are perhaps lax in seeing how much that can be a benefit when it comes to leading people.

The longer I am at this thing called ministry - the more I realize that we need multiply styles of leadership. We no longer live in a world that allows for one dominate type of leadership. In schools we teach using multiple types of teaching styles to relate to different students teaching styles. Similarly we need pastors and leaders who have differing styles.

In/Out

I watched the Jesus Camp movie about 2 months ago and am still processing what I saw and how it relates to my own life growing up. One of things that struck me watching the movie that I have continued to think about was a scene in which the Mother of one of the kids is talking to the camera and she says "there are 2 kinds of people in the world; those who are Christians and those who aren’t." I don’t know that I actually heard that phrase growing up but I certainly subconsciously believed it. I have spent far too much time during my life deciding if someone was a christian or not and then deciding if they where "my kind" of christian or not. I spent far too much time deciding if someone was in or out. In fact I spent so much time determining the in/out factor that my learning about the person themselves was almost a secondary issue. The in/out factor means that I made judgements about if we would or would not be friends and if we did or did not have anything in common.

I recently had a conversation with someone who was defending the christian/nonchristian mentality or truth as they called it. As I listened I thought about something that I recently heard Brian McLaren say. He was talking about what’s next, after we have decided who is in/out what then, do we ignore them, do we try to convert them, or do we love them and show grace and compassion. Historically we have ignored then, tried to convert through reason or fear and, at times in history, to convert by the sword.

So this is what I have decided ………. drum role please…….. I am going to try to not decide who is in or out. What if what the Bible says is true – that God will ultimately decide, and last I checked God wasn’t taking suggestions from me on who is in/out. Perhaps my time will be better spent learning from people and their lives and experiences, loving, showing grace and compassion and less time deciding who I think is in/out.

Change

I have had a hard time as I think about blogging, trying to figure out what is appropriate to say or not say here and what I may or may not regret later. After a recent conversation with good, not so old, Mom I have finally, maybe, come to terms with change. I have changed. I am not the same person I was 5 years ago or even one year ago and I won’t be the same next year or in 5 years. So this is going to be more about the moment, something that doesn’t come easy to me the planner, but something that I am working on. Learning to be comfortable in the moment and where I am, not where I want to be or where I was, but where I am now, at this moment.

Happy Birthday Mom

My Mom is turning 50 today and I am busy planning a big birthday bash for Friday night. My Mom has been a great source of comfort, wisdom, strength and encouragement for me. What do you say to the woman who gave you life, nurtured you and pushed you to do what God has called you to?

I had initially thought that I might try to write a blessing to say at the party but as time got away from me, I found a myself with a lack of words. I don't think that words are the problem but that feeling that they aren't enough. What I really want is something profound and inspired to come out of me that will bless her and let her know how much I have appreciated her and continue to respect her.

But in the absence of profoundness... a blessing and a prayer found in the Celtic Daily Prayer book from the Northumbria Community (Page 291).

I bless you, Mary,
In the name of the Holy Three,
the Father, the Son and the Sacred Spirit.
May you drink deeply
from God's cup of joy.
May the night bring you quiet.
And when you come
to the Father's palace
may His door be open
and the welcome warm.

My prayer for you........... (P.292)

May the Father of Life pour out His grace on you;
may you feel His hand in everything you do
and be strengthened by the things He brings you through:
this is my prayer for you.

May the Son of God be Lord in all your ways;
may He shepherd you the length of your days,
and in your heart may He receive the praise:
this is my prayer for you.

And despite how simple it may sound,
I pray that His grace abound
and motivate everything you do;
and may the fullness of His love be shared through you.

May His Spirit comfort you,
and make you strong,
and in you heart may He give you a song:
this is my prayer for you.

May Jesus be Lord in all your ways,
may He shepherd you the length of all your days,
and in your heart may He receive the praise:
this is my prayer for you, my prayer for you.

Happy Birthday Mom!!!!

Faith as a Trampling

As we all try to move toward a place of being more Christ-like and to follow in the path of Jesus we all wrestle with personal, spiritual and emotional issues. For some those issues place a barrier between themselves and others. I think of the metaphor that we frequently use in the church; that we are going to build a house or wall and that we have to have a strong foundation and piece by piece use our interpretation of scripture and our experiences as each brick that we lay as we build our faith. The problem may be that in our attempt to build the strong house and wall we have placed a wall between ourselves and those people that God is wanting to use to minister to us or those that God would have us minister to. There is also the problem that some people's walls make look different then ours because they have used different bricks of interpretation and experiences and in the event that something happens in our life that causes us to reexamine a brick that means that the whole wall of faith has to be dismantled.

What if instead of a wall of strong faith our metaphor changed. What if our faith was instead a trampling. I know that is a big change but hang with me for a moment. A trampling is a network of small fibers that make up the mesh fabric that we jump on; and for each of us those fabrics are different things relating to our current and past relationships with God and the Church, our interpretation of scripture, and our experiences. The mesh fabric is attached to the frame by springs that allow for movement; those springs can be what we feel are the "absolute truths" of the gospel, but we are aware that if a spring breaks down or if a spring needs reexamined, the removal of one spring doesn't distract from our faith, we can still jump. What if as we experience the joy of jumping in our faith/God we have the ability to invite people to jump with us, to invite people to experience the joy of God without having to first work on a wall.