My Journey as a Woman ....... in Ministry
As I have been dealing with my own issues of calling, gifting and my place in the church over the last few years I have found many people who want to tell me what to believe - who want to point out the scriptures and the issues one by one and tell me how it is or should be. However what I have really wanted has been an honest, straight forward conversation and discussion. One that is marked with graciousness, compassion and most of all love. That kind of conversation has been hard to find, thankfully because of the internet, blogs and search engines we have access to people around the world and even in the US who also want to have a respectful conversation.
As much as I enjoy the conversations of theology and practice within the church I still have the lingering sensation that I am doing something wrong, that I am rebelling. Because at the core of the issue is a belief that has be instilled in me throughout my life, not by my parents, but by my church and the ministries that have impacted my life, a belief that woman are not to be in places of leadership over a man. I still struggle with it after graduating from Bible school and being in the ministry nearly 10 years. Although I have heard all the arguments for both sides more than once (trust me) I still can't get over what it means for me as a woman and as someone who ministers to people on a daily basis. Am I doing the right thing, am I out of God's will, why did God give me these giftings and dreams if in the end God really wants me to be a stay-at-home wife and mom, and then if that is true than why hasn't it happened for me yet.
Odviously I have not journeyed down this road quickly and quietly, I have had starts and stops and detours along the way, at times I have been very vocal and at times silent as I try to understand and come to terms with myself and with God. To date I don't yet know if this journey will have an ending, if there will ever become a time that I can rest quietly knowing that I am at peace with myself as a woman and as a minister. Even as I write this I struggle with what I call myself, do I say I am a minister due to my theological understanding of every christian being a minister or by my training and profession or do I use some other term that I don't know yet how to say or define that shows me as merely a follower of Jesus with no position of leadership.
Along this path I have come across many people and books who have been helpful and encouraging, some of which include; The Shaping of a Life: A Spiritual Landscape by the wonderful Phyllis Tickle, and The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd,
I have also read many articles, blogs and comments by both men and women who have impacted my thinking. As I try to journey into a greater understanding of what it means to be a Jesus follower and not just a follower of what I have been taught and what others tell me is so I find more and more space for conversation, discussion and love. I find that an openness for the thoughts, feelings, opinions and experiences of others can shape and influence in both positive and negative ways but to stop allowing for the openness is to stifle what may be the movement of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people who are dear to God.
As much as I enjoy the conversations of theology and practice within the church I still have the lingering sensation that I am doing something wrong, that I am rebelling. Because at the core of the issue is a belief that has be instilled in me throughout my life, not by my parents, but by my church and the ministries that have impacted my life, a belief that woman are not to be in places of leadership over a man. I still struggle with it after graduating from Bible school and being in the ministry nearly 10 years. Although I have heard all the arguments for both sides more than once (trust me) I still can't get over what it means for me as a woman and as someone who ministers to people on a daily basis. Am I doing the right thing, am I out of God's will, why did God give me these giftings and dreams if in the end God really wants me to be a stay-at-home wife and mom, and then if that is true than why hasn't it happened for me yet.
Odviously I have not journeyed down this road quickly and quietly, I have had starts and stops and detours along the way, at times I have been very vocal and at times silent as I try to understand and come to terms with myself and with God. To date I don't yet know if this journey will have an ending, if there will ever become a time that I can rest quietly knowing that I am at peace with myself as a woman and as a minister. Even as I write this I struggle with what I call myself, do I say I am a minister due to my theological understanding of every christian being a minister or by my training and profession or do I use some other term that I don't know yet how to say or define that shows me as merely a follower of Jesus with no position of leadership.
Along this path I have come across many people and books who have been helpful and encouraging, some of which include; The Shaping of a Life: A Spiritual Landscape by the wonderful Phyllis Tickle, and The Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd,
I have also read many articles, blogs and comments by both men and women who have impacted my thinking. As I try to journey into a greater understanding of what it means to be a Jesus follower and not just a follower of what I have been taught and what others tell me is so I find more and more space for conversation, discussion and love. I find that an openness for the thoughts, feelings, opinions and experiences of others can shape and influence in both positive and negative ways but to stop allowing for the openness is to stifle what may be the movement of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people who are dear to God.
posted by Tera Yakel | 5:35 PM
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